The Northern Monkey: Have you seen the swans on canal? There's a whole flotilla of the bastards, this morning they woke me up at dawn. There must be a way to shoot them, or at least scare them off
The Suburban Bushwacker: I stamped a pigeon to death this morning
The Northern Monkey: Any reason? Or you just fancied it?
I could tell you the rest of the story, a tale of tracking a wounded avian across the small expanse of a suburban car park, the pitiful sight of it's suffering and it's dispatch. But it's probably funnier if I leave that bit unsaid.
Picture credit goes to www.newsteam.co.uk/ story from the telegraph