Saturday, 26 May 2007

Elk Pasta!

Get Tough or Move South.

“ must have a good pair of legs. If automobiles, elevators, and general laziness have not ruined your powers of locomotion, you may follow the dogs; otherwise, you had best stay at home.”
Dr Saxton Pope

So after a considerable hiatus, the Suburban Bushwacker took some unpaid exercise.
Actually it’s worse than that I’M PAYING THEM!!!

This time rowing in front of the TV down at the gym just isn’t going to do it.
I’m not preparing for a duck hunt or a fishing trip: this is an elk hunt, so I’ve enrolled with a military fitness crew.
Started by a retired major and staffed by serving physical training instructors these boys know blood, sweat and tears.
I’m yet to donate any blood.

We meet in the park for an hour of running and circuit training.
The group is divided into three; the green bibs - skinny determined looking people, all high as kites on endorphins.
The red bibs – smiling, full of life, people who chat to each other during the class.
Then bringing up the rear, in the blue bibs; the chubby folk. Needless to say your friend the Bushwacker is wheezing along with the desk jockeys and ready-meal addicts. I would be telling you about the burning pain of such a humiliation, but I honestly didn’t feel it. The burning pain all over my body meant I was incapable of any existential angst.
24 hours later I’m wishing that was still the case ! Oh the pain, the pain of being a wuss! Oh the pain of being a lazy, greedy wuss! Every glorious fatty, salty, sugary delicacy I’ve stuffed in my face is now dancing before my eyes.
When Bushwacker jnr woke me up in the middle of last night my stomach still ached so much I couldn’t go back to sleep. Awww!

British Military Fitness - Now UK wide

Nike 5.0
Like socks with soles attached. I really like 5.0’s the low heel height means much greater stability, (how do chicks stay balanced on high heels?) and the articulation of the sole really does make them like walking barefoot.

Nalgene 0.5 litre
The best bottles ever! For reasons why the Nalgene is so good, lets look at how it trounces that traditional favorite the Sigg bottle.
Siggs may look good on the shelf (Sigg1 Nalgene 0) but like so many ‘outdoor classics’ they are crap.
They dent (Sigg1 Nalgene 1).
The neck is too narrow to insert anything wider than a straw-who would want to put ice in a drink? (Nalgene 2. Sigg1. Advantage Nalgene).
They corrode (Sigg1 Nalgene 3)
And they are way, way overpriced-look around you’ll see perfect copies for 15-20% of the price (Sigg1 Nalgene 4).
Nalgene wins!
If Sigg is ever to regain it’s once exulted place in my pack, its time for a major rethink, aluminum just ain’t doing it anymore.
Dear Sigg
‘If you can’t run with the big dogs, keep your puppy ass on the porch’