Thursday, 1 January 2009

Our Friend's In The North

A great picture by James of me sitting at the bench - Rangetastic!
Have all the 'crack shot' jokes been made already?

With the new year begining; the economy sliding, Google soaking up all the advertising budgets, loafer wearing smart arses not being in demand the way we once were, and me and the gorgeous Mrs SBW no longer an item, I've decided give myself a kick up the arse and to go to school.

Psychology and Law both sounded like tempting vocations, but the whole 'poor student' thing just isn't practical. So I'm going to save the world - one house at a time.

As a culture we're at the crossroads where the 'Big Brains and Opposable Thumbs' experiment is about to be tested, possibly to destruction. A deregulated derivatives market has just been tested to destruction and even some of the less imaginative voices are starting to talk about peak oil either having already happened or being more than a 'penciled' appointment. While MCP and quite a few of my off-grid chums see only doom and gloom, I see a massive opportunity. One where we'll re-float the financial system and free ourselves from fossil fuels; by a massive swing to locally generated energy and the responsible/ingenious deployment of the resources we have. I'm prepared to bet the next ten years of my life on it. So its off to trade school in the frozen north, (or "Leeds" as the locals pronounce it) to brush up on my plumbing and electrical skills. While I'm there I plan to get time for some outdoor adventures with TNM. The beautiful county of Yorkshire (Englands Texas) offers plenty of chances for us to get up close and personal with our dinner. Although Ferret Legging isn't and wont be on the agenda.

In honor of my new workplace, under a kitchen sink rather than behind a desk, here's my favorite builders joke - The Intellectual Building Site

There's an English guy living in Eire, has no money, so he thinks 'I'd better get a job' so he goes to a nearby building site to ask the foreman if they have anything for him.

Foreman: "Well thanks for coming down and askin'. I'd like to give you a shout, I really would, because i like to think of myself as a fair man. And that's the reason I'd only be fair if i gave you a warning first. This IS the intellectual building site, and although I'm sure you're a nice fella and all, it'd be only fair if i warned you, I've not been a fan of the education system in your country since they phased out the eleven plus. This is the intellectual building site, we start with the crossword in the London Times with our breakfast, at the first break we do the crossword from the Irish Times and by lunchtime my nephew has faxed us the New York Times crossword. So if you don't get in you mustn't be too hard on yourself, its no reflection on you as a person, it might be that you just weren't smart enough or your education just wasn't good enough. Remember this is the intellectual building site."

English guy: "Sounds fair whats the question?"

Foreman: "What's the difference between a girder and a joist?"

English guy: "That's easy Goethe wrote Faust and Joyce wrote Ulysses!"

Your pal
The bushwacker.
PS Just think how much weight I've lost to have my pants hang down like that!