Friday, 11 March 2011


The sweet black taste of morning AKA: Americano. Battery Acid. Bean Juice. Beans. Black Gold. Black Ichor Of Life. Brain Juice. Brew. Brewtus. C8H10N4O2: (The molecular formula for caffeine). Café. Caffe. Caffeine Fix. Cup of Brew. Cup of Joe. Cup of Jolt. Cupped Lightning. Daily Grind. Day-Starter. Demitasse. Dishwater. Drip. Embalming Fluid. Express Train. Go Juice. High Octane. High Test (after the high-octane gas). Hojo. Hot Stuff. Ink. Jamoke: (Java + Mocha). Java. Jet Fuel. Jitter Juice. Jo. Joe. Kaffe: (Swedish).Kape: (Manila). Leaded. LAS-Legal Addictive Stimulant. Lifeblood. Lifer's Juice. Liquid Energy. Liquid Lightning. Misto. Mocha. Mojo. Morning Mud. Morning Thunder. Mother’s Little Helper. Mud. Muddy Water. Murk. Norwegian plasma. Oil. One's Daily Infusion. Pentecostal Whiskey. Perk or Perky. Plasma. Roast. Rocket Fuel. Swedish gasoline. Tar. The Fix. The Regular. Turpentine. Unleaded. Vitamin C. Wake Up Call. Wakey Juice. Warmer Upper. Zip or whatever you want to call it...

The shortage of high-end Arabica coffee beans is also being felt in New York supermarkets and Paris cafes, as customers blink at escalating prices. Purveyors fear that the Arabica coffee supply from Colombia may never rebound — that the world might, in effect, hit “peak coffee.”

In 2006, Colombia produced more than 12 million 132-pound bags of coffee, and set a goal of 17 million for 2014. Last year the yield was nine million bags.

The Specialty Coffee Association of America warned this year, “It is not too far-fetched to begin questioning the very existence of specialty coffee.”

Wherever you stand on Peak Oil [realists in one pile, la-la-la-I'm-not-listening-'s in the other] here's some very bad news. PEAK COFFEE. Seriously. Yield of the good stuff is down as much as 70%. Imagine life with 70% less coffee! I'm honestly too flustered to know what to do? It doesn't even keep that long in the freezer! What are we going to do?

Your worried pal

PS The first person to suggest that most fraudulent of products "instant' coffee is banned.

Pic is Cafuerteras by Javier Jaén


GoofyGirl said...

Is the lack-o-spout the reason that coffee pot is taking such a macho pose? Makin' up for it's inadequacies? ;p

The Suburban Bushwacker said...

You know how it is: you have have a couple of cups of rocket fuel, you read the first bit of the mornings paper, something catches your eye, before you know it you're spouting off!