A while back I showed you a window into
the strange, perhaps surreal, world of the FLSC or ‘foreign language spam comment’.
Well thank goodness not everything has been outsourced to China. High weirdness
is still available, hand crafted in English. I found this in the moderation queue
the other morning
7:05p Had a group of white kids come up
to me and ask me to buy a bottle. Suggest I will be attacked in the near
future. I will be ready with the sizzors and I will go for the eyes. Please
make them white males. The gods are fucking monsters. Let me share with you
some of the monsterous things they have done in the recent past:::: 1. Treat
Blvd. killings. Saw a beautiful therapist I recently brought up again. The gods
had some delinquent white male plow his SUV into an Afghan man and his 9 year
old daughter on a Saturday morning ride right in front of the building after I
"foreshadowed" the event, killing them both. 2. Discussed Haitian
child slavery problem. Had a slavery issue in my family, perpetuated from
parents into the next generation. Considered a parent's possible reincarnation
as a Haitian child slave. Shortly thereafter 25,000 dead in 2009 earthquake. 3.
Badmouth crappy Chilean fruit. 2009 Earthquake. 4. 2002 Cozumel vacation. Wilma
parks on the prime diving area on
But wait there’s more, the next day
there was a second helping
7:05p Had staged incident where a group
of white kids come up to me and ask me to buy a bottle. Suggest I will be
attacked in the near future. The gods are fucking monsters. Let me share with
you some of the monsterous things they have done in the recent past:::: 1.
Treat Blvd. killings. Saw a beautiful therapist I recently brought up again.
The gods had some delinquent white male plow his SUV into an Afghan man and his
9 year old daughter on a Saturday morning ride right in front of the building
after I "foreshadowed" the event, killing them both. 2. Discussed Haitian
child slavery problem. Had a slavery issue in my family, perpetuated from
parents into the next generation. Considered a parent's possible reincarnation
as a Haitian child slave. Shortly thereafter 25,000 dead in 2009 earthquake. 3.
Badmouth crappy Chilean fruit. 2009 Earthquake. 4. 2002 Cozumel vacation. Wilma
parks on the prime diving area (SW) of the island and hammers the reefs for 40
full hours. 5. on
I am actually offering a prize for the best
explanation of what this may or may not mean. Not sure what the prize is, or
when the closing date for entries is, but I think we can all rest easy knowing
that fact is stranger than fiction
Your pal
SBW [the B is for baffled]
Picture credit Eat4fun
10 comments:
Um, may just be my browser but all I saw was the photo of the frying spam then a long dark space. No text until, scrolling down, at the end was 'eat4fun'.
Odd I thought. Unusually cryptic for SBW, I thought. So I tried highlighting the long dark space and lo, I saw words!
And after all that effort, a clear sign if any were needed that I try hard to keep up with SBW's posts, all I saw was incomprehensible shit. I'm sorry SBW, I can't help you, I haven't got a fucking clue!
The best I ever get is some misplaced (like, couldn't even try to get it in a post where it might actually make some sense) comment from places in Mumbai selling fire extinguishers, or places in Manila that offer self defence courses.
Hippo
Fixed - but I guess no clearer
Exploriment - I like your thinking
Any more?
SBW
Referencing my vast collection of encyclopedias, almanacs, and foreign texts, I've painstakingly translated the spam into somewhat coherent English:
Some white kids threatened to attack me in the future if I don't buy them bottles of soda. I've prepared myself for future encounters with a pair of scissors, they are perfect for eye poking, I just hope they are male.. Man, they are little monsters. Let me tell you all about the antics these children have played on me in the past:
1. They killed Treat Boulevard! I brought it up with my therapist, whom I have a crush on. The gods told this young white guy to use a plow to ram his SUV into an Afghan male and his 9 year old daughter right in front the building after I foreshadowed the event by complaining about white people.
2. These white children have discussed the Haitian child slavery problem with my hot therapist, whom I still have a crush on. Had a frequent slavery issue in my family, my parents keep trying to sell me off. I hope one of them gets reborn as a Haitian child slave. After I brought that up, an earthquake hit Haiti. Man, I must be Nostradamus or something.
3. They complained about some poor quality fruit from Chile being sold down in the market. Boom! Earthquake in Chile! WTF? Little monsters!
4. They all went on a vacation down to Cozumel in 2002. This girl Wilma parks her car right in the middle of the damn ocean! The car bounces off a reef for a full 40 hours before it can be removed!
better adding some kind of live chat to blogs so that visitors can discuss among themselves instead to commenting and waiting for the replies ...there are many such free services available ..ex , http://confaber.com
Sahil
I hereby appoint you head of translation for the SBW blog
SBW
Revolution
Thanks for the tip
SBW
Sahil's deffo got the translation sorted but it strikes me that your fellow's moving in and out space time, giving him prophetic power and remote viewing capabilities.
He's confused, naturally, with shifting planar dimensional perceptive flux.
My advice, as a man of the cloth? Exercise caution, SBW.
Official translator? Man, do I have some work to do... you guys and your slang words from across the pond.
I second what LSP said. You're dealing with a spammer of unknown powers.
There's always the 'delete' button of course. Just a thought.
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