Wednesday, 14 July 2010

I Just Play One On TV

True Story:
I was sitting on a bench eating a sorbet - a woman, with the belligerent tone of the holiday maker, demanded

BHM: "Where'dja get the ice cream"

Not 'Say Honey' or 'Excuse me' just "Where'dja get the ice cream" [face like a slapped arse]
I, on the other hand, was able to remember my manners [just]

SBW: One block, turn right and it's the fudge store.
BHM: Oh tell me that's a fake accent
SBW: Of course it is ma'am, I just put it on for the tourists

It's the small things that make this life bearable, dear reader.
Keep on keeping on


murphyfish said...


The Suburban Bushwacker said...

Sweet sarcasm action.

Chad Love said...

Let me guess: she was an American...

The Suburban Bushwacker said...

Goofy tells me 'american tourists are even worse IN america'

Chad Love said...

I don't know, at least over here they sorta kinda blend in, as opposed to the extreme culture shock they induce when abroad...

First visit to Paris (my first time abroad anywhere, exluding Canada, which doesn't count) to visit some expat friends who lived there at the time. My wife and I are trying hard to blend in (actually not trying because that's how we roll anyway...) with the locals, you know, no walking up and starting loud friendly conversations with total strangers, no bitching about how "that's not how we do it in the states"
not asking directions to the nearest McDonalds, that kind of typical American stuff.

We quickly got very adept at picking out our American brethren and it became sort of a game (of course it's not hard when they're wearing things like a red, white and blue NASCAR jacket).

I guess if I had to characterize the typical American tourist it would be a sort of friendly but grating naivety as to why everything everywhere else isn't just like it is back home, because - of course - it should be. I have no room to speak, because I've been guilty of it myself...

And I can't think of a better example of that than an American tourist standing on a streetcorner in London and asking, in all honesty, if your accent was affected.

That's freakin' priceless...

Wendy said...

That's awful. On behalf of the rest of America, please accept my apologies.

We're not all bad ... especially those of us who live in tourist towns and see too many examples of what *not* to do when visiting other people's homes.

A fellow blogger had a great post recently about people being rude (and hers weren't tourists, but regular residents of the community where she lives). She quoted Robert Heinlein who said, basically, that when people stop practicing civility, our "civilizations" are doomed.

I hope the sorbet was good, at least ;).

The Suburban Bushwacker said...

Just like on the blog you linked to, its the sense of entitlement that's so annoying, but it;s universal to tourists everywhere, the insensitivity, the mind numbing stupidity and the absolute effing rudeness.

Sadly the locals had hatched a plan to get back at the tourists: sub-optimal sorbet


The Suburban Bushwacker said...

LOL - its universal the English are just as bad - Flying into a rage if its not the same as at home, my father is a case in point: he has taken against the whole two island nation of New Zealand due to a shocking and impertinent use of 'slang' on the news!

Other only-stereotypes-coz-you-see-um-all-the-times are: giving it the when-we, complaining that [insert name of national dish] isn't as good as from the place 100 yards from their house, and its either too hot or too cold.

SBW - I'll not throw any more stones, bit worried about my house

Phillip said...

Good stuff, and I totally agree... as much as we like to self-flagellate, the Americans certainly haven't cornered the market on stupid tourist tricks. Take it from someone who's lived most of his life in tourist/beach towns.

I just wish I were as quick with the witty replies as some folks.

The Suburban Bushwacker said...


It's very kind of you, what you don't see is the late nights I spend burning the midnight oil writing Bon Mots, and the early mornings scouring the streets for people to spring them on ;-) It's all a bit OCD really.